That day, December 22, which I regret atrociously, she was eating less and breathing hard, so we decided to take her to the vet in our town, who we don't like by the way, but we just wanted to see what was wrong.
She's been through a lot, this ball of fur, between the ovarian stones, the sistites, her throat abscess, her osteoarthritis, her sore legs from wanting to chase a cat, during her last month, in November, she would black out, faint, become stiff and then come to.
She did this when she was running because her brain was having trouble getting blood to it.
With each absence, I thought it was the end, but she was stronger than that, overflowing with love and doing everything she could to be with us to the end.
I come back to that famous December 22, when they diagnosed a benign tumour in her uterus, only she'd had a heart murmur for a few years, so surgery was impossible. Unfortunately, that wasn't all, she also had water in her lungs, so the vet suggested injections to remove the water, which he said was preventing her from eating.
To my regret today, my mom and I agreed, but it was mainly me who wanted it, I absolutely wanted her to start eating again.
The next day, my little darling, always ready to go for a walk, didn't move anymore, she was a zombie, she wouldn't even open her mouth for a piece of bacon.
That was on Tuesday and the vet told us to wait, it would come back... We waited until Sunday and her temperature was dropping more and more, so we took her to the vet school in a hurry.
On Monday, her temperature had dropped again, and they suggested a hopeless operation or euthanasia.
For me, that was out of the question - I didn't want to kill my dog.
On Tuesday December 30, they asked me to choose euthanasia and to come and say goodbye to our dog. I stayed with her and the vet for over an hour, not wanting to let her go, I knew what they would do with her as soon as I gave her to them.
The look on her face was horrible, she gave me a lick and that's when I understood, but I still blame myself.
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