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In tribute to BoomerThanks to Your mother Aurélie |
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| My Boomer, my love, my baby, my big wolf, my lion, my friend, my guardian angel, my Booboo. A monster took you from my arms and kisses. A monster stole your life. A coward poisoned you, you who had never done anything but cuddle and kiss. A criminal decided to poison you, leaving me alone with my pain. You're gone and I miss you, every day, every minute. I remember the first time I saw you, in your foster home, waiting to be adopted, for someone to want you, you who were all skinny and one-eyed. With your future dad and your future “sister” we arrived in this house that was home to so many animals, you barely considered us, more interested in your walks in the garden. Attila didn't like meeting you at all, and it must be said that with your size you were impressive for her, even if you didn't weigh much at the time. We left without you... but so that we could get you home without risking a bad trip with Attila. We came back for you a few days later, and you were adorable during the journey, your head resting on the headrest in front of you, sleeping like a big baby, calm and serene. When we got home, I have to admit that Attila didn't give you a very warm welcome - to say she was jealous would be an understatement. I must admit I was worried that things would never work out with her, and that we wouldn't all have the life I'd dreamed of. Attila didn't necessarily appreciate you “chewing” her head in your big mouth, running after her whenever she went out to play with her ball, stealing her soft toys but above all her parents' love. It took a while for the mayonnaise to take hold, but we'd done everything we could to make sure things went as smoothly as possible. Seeing that it was difficult for Attila to admit you into her pack, we went to “dog school” so that she could learn to “share”. You loved it, she didn't... but from then on, and especially when Attila had her poppies, everything worked out. She fell in love with you! I remember too well the tickling, kissing and cavalcade games the two of you used to play. She'd come looking for you, and you, a big clumsy oaf, wouldn't understand and would heckle her; it was so funny to see you chasing after each other, talking in your Choubaka voice and nibbling her “for laughs”. Everything improved from then on, even if getting home without having to “chase” you around the garden took longer than the rest. What a nightmare it was when I decided to go to bed and it took me 20 minutes to get you home. But with all the love we gave you, you soon realized that a comfortable spot on the sofa was waiting for you and that it was a good idea to settle in, taking up all the space with your 40 kg. What a pleasure to feel you, to hug you; what a pain sometimes to find a little place to settle down, but today that sofa seems big, empty and cold. I'd so much like you to take up all the space on it, to lie down on it without worrying about the fact that we can't settle down. Every moment you come back into my memory, every evening when I come home and open the gate, you're not there... you'll never welcome me again by taking my hand in your mouth or fetching your stick, jumping on me; a habit I wanted you to lose, but miss so much! Every night at dinner, when I can't see your big mouth over the table, your eye leering at our plates, and a little drool dripping onto the floor because you're so excited about getting a bite to eat. Every evening, when I'm serving Attila his meal, I reach into the huge bag of croquettes I bought for you, because with your appetite we soon realized that 2 kg bags weren't ideal. At that moment I always count... one dose for Titi and 4... no not 4, never again 4 for my Booboo. Every night when I went to bed and couldn't give you a big cuddle before bedtime, I didn't even try to send you to bed for the night, I'd given in to your desire to enjoy the sofa, you'd won and I loved it! Every morning when I get up and go downstairs to the living room, you're no longer there, lying on the sofa, just opening your eyes and raising your head to say to me “Good morning Mum, I'm still enjoying the sofa... go to work without fear, I'm watching over the house”, you're no longer there, I'll never again be able to flatter you to wish you a good day. Everything is you, everything reminds me how much I miss you. Whatever I do, you're in my head and in my heart, every time I go for a walk I remember your chases through the forest, your passion for mud baths. How hard it is to think that never again will I be able to build new memories with you, you were stolen from my love, my heart was broken, but above all your life was stolen. A beautiful life, after a difficult start, abandoned, left to fend for yourself, one-eyed and emaciated, you had found your family, we had found “our son”. Yes, I know my Booboo, you're a dog, but you also know that for me you were so much more. I love you my Boomer, your death leaves an infinite void in me. The human monstrosity that led to your death disgusts me, I'm appalled that anyone could do that to an animal, but especially to you, who were so cute, so kind, so tender. How you'd evolved, how attentive and affectionate you'd become with us, how much you'd changed in such a short time. What fond memories of those walks in the forest when we were on vacation. You, free, without a leash, walking in front of us, stopping to look at us... no misbehavior, no attempt to “live your life” in the woods. No, you were there, with us, present and protecting us, what a beautiful moment, especially as it was unexpected! You were so used to your escapades in the woods at home that we were blown away by your attitude, but what a joy to be able to see you free and to be serene in the knowledge that you wouldn't run away. By the time we returned from vacation, the new Boomer had arrived, another milestone crossed, and all was for the best in the best of all possible worlds. You and Attila got on well together, with great moments of madness at poppy time, you came home when you were asked to, at dog school you were the number one star, with your good nature you were the one who did the tests with the new arrivals, you knew how to stay still, wait to gobble up your bowl and you came back when you were called, even when you were out of the house! The story was written slowly, but tenderly, with patience and love, you were the perfect companion, even if you would have had to make a few more efforts with the other dogs outside the house, but I was fine with that because I trusted you. We lived in perfect harmony. We loved you, you loved us back, happiness! we shared everything with you, our sofa, our plate, our vacations... but the happiness came to an end, everything stopped on August 1, 2014 when the worst of the monsters threw poisoned dumplings over the gate. You were so greedy... you must have thrown yourself at it and eaten almost everything, Attila must have had “only the leftovers” and that's what saved her... Alain was at home, Attila came to fetch him, she was unwell, so were you... your dad phoned me and I immediately turned around, arriving at the office and leaving straight away to come and join you, fear in my stomach and prayers full in my mouth. You convulsed, you threw up that slug poison crap, you literally emptied yourself. By the time I got to the vet's you'd already gone up to the treatment room with Attila. I saw the state of the consultation room and I cringed to see the state it was in, it didn't augur well... The vet was very attentive, very kind and understanding in the face of my suffering, which was nothing compared to yours, my poor loving heart. On Saturday you weren't any better, you'd vomited again after drinking a few drops of water and you'd had another round of consultations. I came to see you, it was hard to see you in such a state but I couldn't leave you alone, if only I could have stayed with you every minute I'd still be by your side. On Sunday, the vet called and told me you weren't getting any better, that the next day we'd have to make a decision... I was devastated... you couldn't leave me, not so soon, not so fast, not like that!!! But on Monday, you offered me a miracle, when I came to see you, the vet had taken you outside, although blind and handicapped you were walking, you heard my voice, you came to me when I called you... A breath of hope crept into me, you were going to live, you were going to heal and come home !!!! you were so strong my love, my love for you was so strong that I thought it could save you. I continued to pray for you, I got everyone around me to pray for you, my friends, my family, candles were burned, prayers and positive thoughts were sent, I promised God I'd stop smoking, stop drinking Coke, the 2 things that would be the hardest for me, I'd sacrifice them for you, to save you. I wanted so much to believe in us, in our life together for years and years and years to come. But on Tuesday September 5, when I called the vet, his diagnosis was once again very gloomy. You still hadn't eaten, you hadn't got up, you had bedsores all over your paws, and far from improving, you were actually getting worse... the previous day's improvement hadn't lasted... I came to see you, hoping that you would eat with me, so I brought you some of the bacon you liked so much... you didn't taste it... I insisted, but it was no use, you didn't have the strength or the taste to eat. The vet came to see me and explained that it was better to let you “go”, that your body was too damaged to hope for a cure... I asked him to stay with you for a few moments, just the two of us. I talked to you for a long time, close to your ear, telling you how much I loved you, how much I needed you, how you had to come home, how you had to fight, how you had to live. Your head in my arms, your eye open but now blind I don't know if you understood what I was saying, but I wanted you to know how much I loved you, I wanted to be with you again and again... He came back to tell me that I had to let you go now, for your sake... I held your head in my arms, kissing you again and again, asking you to forgive me for what I was doing to you... he gave you the injection that put you to sleep, an anaesthetic so that you wouldn't suffer from the injection that would free you from your suffering and leave me alone and abandoned. You fell asleep in my arms, your eye on me, and the second injection I felt your last breath leave you and I burst into tears. It's so hard to have made this decision, I had to kill you my Boomer, I had to end your life and it's hard to tell myself that I did the right thing, that there was no other solution, no alternative, no possible cure. I still regret not giving you more time, I still regret not giving you a chance to recover, to live. I cry over this decision that has meant you are no longer by my side. I cry even though deep down I “know” that the vet wouldn't have guided me towards this “solution” if you'd been able to survive and come home. How hard it is to have had to make this decision, how hard it is to have hastened your death. I hope my Boomer, I pray my love, that what I did was the best thing for you, because know that for me the best thing would have been to keep you for decades more. I love you so much, I miss you so much, I can't understand how anyone could hurt you like this, without reason, without motive. Why you? !!!! Why us? Why all this hatred, this lack of love, humanity and respect for life?! How hard it is to live without you, how hard it is to live in this absurd world where you can't say to yourself “only the wicked get punished”. I've always tried to be fair, upright and respectful. My values have always been to help my fellow man and the weakest, and that's why you've become part of our family. You would have been a beautiful dog, in great shape, in short: easily adoptable, I wouldn't have stopped at you, certain that you could have found a home. But you were “my rescue”, not a redemption for a mistake, not an attempt to have better Karma, no, you were “my values”, I wanted to save you, to offer you a loving home where you could have lived beautiful, long years. Life, but especially a monster, decided otherwise, leaving you with me for barely 1 ½ years. You were so young, you deserved so much to still live, just over 2 ½ years... what a shame to have deprived you of your life by our side. Now you're gone, as Lisa would say “not far from you, just on the other side”, but that other side seems unreachable to me. I love you my Boomer, I love you madly and for life, I would have sacrificed everything for you, it wasn't enough to save you. I love you my Boomer, my Booboo, my Baby, my Heart, my Big Wolf, my Lion of love, my Friend, I love you. You are and always will be in my heart and in my head. I LOVE YOU MY BOOMER. Your Mom |
English (United Kingdom)