When I saw you on the shelter's website, cuddled up in your basket, I got in touch to see for myself. But when we arrived, instead of a shelter, it was a house in the woods with a large vacant lot full of dogs of all kinds. When you arrived, it was total disillusionment, you were in an unimaginable state, looking like anything but a 6-year-old Bulldog, skinny, dirty, almost no hair and a tumor like an orange on your belly. Albine and I looked at each other and our hearts said Yes, we'll save you. So you came home, to your home. All the other loulous accepted you straight away, you became their Juju who would spend a few years with them.
You had a very sad past, coming from an intensive breeding program, and as you couldn't reproduce enough, these savages abandoned you like a piece of shit. The day after you came to live with us, you went to the vet for a good check-up. The next day, you were put on the operating table to remove the tumor and a teat, and to be spayed. All went very well, but the healing and scarring took a long time, and your body had no reserves. And that's where little Bobby came in. Every day, he cleaned your scar and day by day, it closed up properly, and the vet was finally able to remove the threads. I think, seeing all the love I received from you, I managed to make you happy. In the evenings, with the other pups, you'd come and snuggle up in my arm, often spending a good part of your night against me, and then you'd go and make yourself at home on the end of the bed, in the few cuddly toys Bobby liked to have to sleep there too.
It took almost 2 years for you to start forgetting your old life, but you still had a few unhappy memories. You'd been hungry, you were a bit greedy and you were also a bit scared, so I'm sure you had a terrible time in that damned kennel. But then life began to smile on you, and you made the most of everything we had to offer, from food to cuddles. And this happiness lasted for 6 long years, until a crab suddenly came and took you away from us. Your neck gnaglions started to swell, an analysis was immediately carried out and the verdict was in: it was indeed generalized cancer. In agreement with the vet, we didn't opt for chemo, as it would have been very heavy and painful, but also selfish to want to prolong you for a few days or a week or two. So you went on your merry way for almost 3 weeks, and then on the last day in the morning, you had a strange look that I didn't know you had, you didn't want to eat or drink. We rushed to the vet's clinic, and then it was all over: you couldn't even stand on your own two feet. The vet examined you and said to me in a troubled voice, “It's time to say goodbye. We gave you one last hug, but you hardly reacted at all. By the time we'd given the first injection, you were already out of this world, at the end of your rope. Just before you closed your eyes, our eyes met one last time.
Like all the other pups, you were cremated and now rest in my secret garden, I see you every day with a tear in the corner of my eye and then with time... The sadness will go... but you'll stay in my heart forever. You'll always be my little Doudoune, my old Juju d'amour who gave me so much friendship, so much love with a sincerity I've never known in a human being. I still have the love of Bijou, Bobby and little Tania rescued from Spain, but none of them will replace you. You were unique, with your true Bulldog character, and I'll never forget you. I know, in a few months, a few years... but I loved you so much despite the short time you spent with me, you also have a photo in front of my computer and it seems to me that, like all the other puppies, you're saying to me : It's not your fault Francis, I'm crying too, where I am, at being separated from you, but our hearts are united for life (the one you have left without me). I beg you my dad, never forget me, you were my breath of life and if I could have a second life, it's with you that I'd spend it, I really had a happy life with you, alas much too short. Farewell my lifelong friend, please don't cry, I'm no longer here to console you, so do me this favor, when you look at my photo, give me a smile... If you can... Don't forget that I really loved you, keep hoping that one day, in heaven, we'll meet again and nothing will ever separate us again. |
|
The void you'll leave when you leave me will never be filled.
|
|
|